How NOT to handle bad breath

We’ve all been there. You across the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work if you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you imagine. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that wont ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy trying to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn can be an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to think our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar concerning the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The problem is that no one knows they have a problem. We appear to be immune to your own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is making you have a problem differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, if it’s someone you know and so are comfortable with, you can test honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Do you play it off like it is a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation once and for all? Do you sit them down and have a serious discussion that could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d wish to be told in the event that you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Can you feel comfortable being told by this person that you have bad breath? You don’t know them sufficiently to be discussing this example with them?

These are all important questions whose answers will vary with each unique situation. Still, there are several things it is possible to avoid saying which are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing those hateful pounds below. Remember, honesty is best policy, but brutal honesty is frequently unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is your breath or did I blow my nose right after wiping my ass?

# 2 And today here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it appears like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever your mouth happens to be. We’re considering a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest of your life. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. KEEP TUNED IN!

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude however your horrible breath is melting my face. To possess to stand here and pay attention to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever note that “Alien” movie where in fact the alien is breathing in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is indeed scary and because it’s saliva can be an acid that may eat through metal? This is usually a lot like that because despite the fact that your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will which is scaring the crap outta me, my pal. Again, ブレスマイルウォッシュ don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Even better, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CAPTCHA ImageChange Image